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cracked:

Before he was taking the piss out of prominent political figures, Jon Stewart was taking the piss out of real athletes by pursuing a career in soccer. As in, he seriously wanted to be a professional soccer player, like Pele, and the scariest part is that he probably could have made it if he hadn’t broken his knee. … How good was Stewart at soccer? World-class good: He represented the U.S. at the Pan American Games in soccer-mad Sao Paulo, Brazil, which is a lead-up event to the World Maccabiah Games (the all-Jewish version of the Olympics), and his team reached the finals.
8 Celebrities Who Are Great at the Last Thing You’d Expect

cracked:

Before he was taking the piss out of prominent political figures, Jon Stewart was taking the piss out of real athletes by pursuing a career in soccer. As in, he seriously wanted to be a professional soccer player, like Pele, and the scariest part is that he probably could have made it if he hadn’t broken his knee. … How good was Stewart at soccer? World-class good: He represented the U.S. at the Pan American Games in soccer-mad Sao Paulo, Brazil, which is a lead-up event to the World Maccabiah Games (the all-Jewish version of the Olympics), and his team reached the finals.

8 Celebrities Who Are Great at the Last Thing You’d Expect

— 1 week ago with 807 notes

marginally-diligent:

"He’s— he’s dead inside…" 

(via undesirable--no1)

— 1 week ago with 51586 notes

cracked:

For all the political, social, and economic equality women truly do deserve, Felix Clay is not handing them a Piss Championship anytime soon.
6 Types of Gender Inequality That We Need to Just Accept

#6. Peeing
If you give a man two minutes, he can urinate safely, effectively, and in a satisfying manner. He can do this anywhere on Earth. In any situation. Lost in the woods? Not an issue. On a boat? Simple. Trapped in an alley? Couldn’t be easier. Any situation that would rightly cause the average woman to fear exposure to tetanus, hobo residue, mosquitoes, bear traps, poison ivy, broken crack pipes, slippery ship decks, and 100 other concerns that could send someone squatting with their pants around their ankles panicking into the night are of no concern to a man who can whip it out and not just pee but write his damn name on a wall with it.

Read More

cracked:

For all the political, social, and economic equality women truly do deserve, Felix Clay is not handing them a Piss Championship anytime soon.

6 Types of Gender Inequality That We Need to Just Accept

#6. Peeing

If you give a man two minutes, he can urinate safely, effectively, and in a satisfying manner. He can do this anywhere on Earth. In any situation. Lost in the woods? Not an issue. On a boat? Simple. Trapped in an alley? Couldn’t be easier. Any situation that would rightly cause the average woman to fear exposure to tetanus, hobo residue, mosquitoes, bear traps, poison ivy, broken crack pipes, slippery ship decks, and 100 other concerns that could send someone squatting with their pants around their ankles panicking into the night are of no concern to a man who can whip it out and not just pee but write his damn name on a wall with it.

Read More

— 1 week ago with 172 notes

Bout to get real responsible tonight.

— 1 week ago

MAKE ME ADMIT STUFF

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?
2. You talked to an ex today, correct?
3. Have you taken someones virginity?
4. Is trust a big issue for you?
5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?
6. What are you excited for?
7. What happened tonight?
8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?
9. Is confidence cute?
10. What is the last beverage you had?
11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?
12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?
13. What are you gonna do Saturday night?
14. What are you going to spend money on next?
15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed?
16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?
17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?
18. The last time you felt broken?
19. Have you had sex today?
20. Are you starting to realize anything?
21. Are you in a good mood?
22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?
23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?
24. What do you want right this second?
25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?
26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color?
27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?
28. What was the last thing that made you laugh?
29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now?
30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?
31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?
32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?
33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?
34. Listening to?
35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?
36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?
37. Do you believe in love at first sight?
38. Who did you last call?
39. Who was the last person you danced with?
40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?
41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake?
42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?
43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?
44. Do you tan in the nude?
45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss?
46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?
47. Who was the last person to call you?
48. Do you sing in the shower?
49. Do you dance in the car?
50. Ever used a bow and arrow?
51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?
52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?
53. Is Christmas stressful?
54. Ever eat a pierogi?
55. Favorite type of fruit pie?
56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?
57. Do you believe in ghosts?
58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
59. Take a vitamin daily?
60. Wear slippers?
61. Wear a bath robe?
62. What do you wear to bed?
63. First concert?
64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?
65. Nike or Adidas?
66. Cheetos Or Fritos?
67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?
68. Favorite Taylor Swift song?
69. Ever take dance lessons?
70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?
71. Can you curl your tongue?
72. Ever won a spelling bee?
73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?
74. What is your favorite book?
75. Do you study better with or without music?
76. Regularly burn incense?
77. Ever been in love?
78. Who would you like to see in concert?
79. What was the last concert you saw?
80. Hot tea or cold tea?
81. Tea or coffee?
82. Favorite type of cookie?
83. Can you swim well?
84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?
85. Are you patient?
86. DJ or band, at a wedding?
87. Ever won a contest?
88. Ever have plastic surgery?
89. Which are better black or green olives?
90. Opinions on sex before marriage?
91. Best room for a fireplace?
92. Do you want to get married?
— 2 weeks ago with 1536632 notes

#wishful thinking 

What’s the point of having a moustache if no one ever rides the damn thing

— 2 weeks ago with 2 notes

#moustache